The Cookie that Changed my Life

So I have been working feverishly to try and understand how after loosing a tremendous amount of weight, I gained back almost 50 pounds. Yes that’s right, you may now pick up your jaw from the ground. After about a year of flaunting my new slim and slender body, I began an unhealthy relationship with a friend from my past, well more like a frenemy (that’s friend/enemy for the non-Jamaicans ), let’s call her Miss. Macadamia Nut. Others call her a cookie, she sits in a small container in most Subway stores, waiting for the committed dieter to come in her path.

I had enjoyed many months of running at the gym and doing my fair share of the Insanity program. One evening I decided I would have dinner at Subway. I had it all planned out, turkey on wheat, hold the cheese, and honey mustard on the side. As I made my way through the sandwich order ritual, I came to the end of the line where I dictated to my server “add all the vegetables you have.” Suddenly I looked to my right, and there she was, staring right at me, I could hear her singing softly “I don’t think you’re ready for this jelly.” At that very moment my entire diet stricken body began to crave sugar like it never had before. I had become compelled by the white chip macadamia nuts perturbing through the soft baked cookie.

Immediately I turned to my left to glance at the tasteless lettuce they were just putting on my sandwich, and I tried earnestly not to look to my right again. Not long after, I had to pay for my sandwich, and the cashier had to ask, “would you like cookies, or a drink with your order?” My heart began to race, and I knew I was about to sabotage my 5 mile run I had just completed. Somewhat hesitant I said in response “yes, two cookies please.” As my luck would have it they had a special price on a 3 cookie order, needless to say I left Subway that day with my turkey on wheat, and three white chip macadamia nut cookies.

Over time my obsession with sweets grew worst. Instead of a cookie I went to ice cream. Whenever I wanted to relieve some of the guilt I had frozen yogurt instead, ignoring that it was also very high in sugar content. Every morning I woke up and gave myself a pep talk, “no more ice cream and cookies for you, you are fat and ugly as it is.” Needless to say it did not work, I ate until my heart and stomach were content. As I ate so did the pounds pile on. In addition I also noticed that I was having to deal with issues from my past yet again.

When things began to get worst, I decided to see a therapist to deal with my emotional anxiety and every day fears. I soon noticed that I had started the cycle again, the cycle of turning to the comfort of food to hide my psychological scares. I neglected working out like I used to, and started feeling sorry for myself. The more I felt sorry for myself was the less I felt motivated to work out. I allowed external circumstances to steal my joy and to take away every progress I had made to lose the weight.

What I realized is that losing weight is just the beginning. To lose weight and keep it off you have to be willing to commit to the activities you did to lose it in the first place. Working out cannot be an option, it has to be a habit. Eating has to be intentional, and intentional to the point where you are choosing the most nutritious food for your body by limiting your caloric intake and monitoring your fat and sugar consumption. Now that I am at a point where I want to lose weight again I have several options:

1. Feel sorry for myself and do nothing.
2. Recognize my mistake and do something to correct it.
3. Admit that I failed, and start immediately to take control of the situation.

I choose the latter. There is nothing I can do now to change what has already happened, all I can do is look forward to the future and start doing today what I need to do in order to get back to my goal weight. So my friend, whatever you are going thorough in life, wether you failed at something, or gave up on a dream, just remember that it is never too late to start again. Start dreaming again, start working towards accomplishing your goals. Winners fail at times, but it is in failing that we know the sweetness of success. You can accomplish your goals, so don’t feel bad about starting again. Stop listening to the negative voices and instead listen to the voice of your heart, because it is our inner voices that gives us the courage to know that anything is possible as long as we are willing to make the sacrifice in accomplishing our goals. Say no to the cookie in your life, be it a negative friend, or people who only seek to bring you down. Surround yourself instead with people who believe in you and serve to motivate you.

© Dimitri Lyon and dimitrilyon.wordpress.com, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Dimitri Lyon and dimitrilyon.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

 

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