My feet tingle, my heart begins to race, and a slew of emotions begin rushing through my head, as the tears begin to flow. That is how every moment starts for me when I recall some of the hardships I have endured in my life.
The pain is intense and the tears uncontrollable. I conceal from the world the things that hurt me the most. To everyone, they see happy, but when I look in the mirror I see sadness. I see loneliness, failure and disappointment. In reality what the world knows is the ten percent of who I am that I choose to share. The other ninety percent remains unseen. I have heard it referred to as the iceberg personality. Many of us live our lives in social circles,choosing to reveal only ten percent of who we are. For the most part we hold on to our secrets, and past hurt. We keep the most delicate part of our lives to ourselves. On some occasions we may allow some people to see fifteen or twenty percent, but a lot still remains hidden. It is similar to an iceberg. Lying just above the surface of the ocean, what we see of an iceberg is in most cases just a mere ten percent of the magnitude of the iceberg. The other ninety percent remains below the surface of the ocean.
Why do we live our lives hiding from the world the reality of who we are? Is it possible that we are scared that people may judge us and dislike us when they go below the surface? For me it has been the fact that I fear vulnerability. The more people know about me is the more vulnerable I become. My fears, past hurt, and disappointments comprise the totality of who I am. I cannot dissociate myself from my past, or the circumstances that made me who I am today. Many people try to hide their past, or to forget about it. However you should embrace your past as it formed the foundation of who you are in the present. The more we learn to embrace our past, the less need we will feel to hide it from others. The less of ourselves that we choose to hide, is the more genuine we will be in the presence of everyone we interact with.
Secrets of our past only inhibit us from living life to the fullest. The world appears to thrive on secrets. People are always trying to find something about you that they may use to tear you down. While you may have the support of friends and family others may not take favorable to you. Isn’t it amazing that no matter your success it seems as if people seek to indicate your failure more than your successes? Failures and successes are all a part of life. It is our failure that enables us to appreciate victory. Do not hide from your failures, cherish them.
At the tender age of 4 until my teenage years I experienced abuse at the hands of close relatives. The abuse was sexual in nature and I sought to hide it from everyone that I interacted with. As I got older I realized that by keeping my past a secret I was only protecting my abusers. I blamed myself for things that were not my own to accept. I victimized myself. People were always suspicious about my past. “Why does Dimitri act that way!” “Why is Dimitri so scared?” “Why does Dimitri fear getting close to people.” The preceding questions were a few of many that people sought to answer without coming to me directly. When they were not able to find their answers they formulated answers for themselves. There are many things people have said about me that could cause me to be hateful and depressed at the same time. Over time I decided I would let the world know my past without fear of negative ramifications. I set myself free. I went below the surface, I exposed my vulnerabilities. In so doing my friendships became stronger, my communication with my family increased.
Don’t fear anyone. Live knowing that you are the best you that you can ever be. Tell you story, don’t allow secrets to ruin your life. We all have our struggles, and we are no less than anyone because of them. Dance as if no one is watching, sing as if no one can hear you, and laugh uncontrollably. When we go below the surface, our true character shines. Limit the effect that negative people have on your life. Know that you are the only person in control of your destiny. Most importantly, believe in yourself, because when you do, the possibilities of what you can accomplish are endless. Show someone a little more than 10% today, you are great and the world deserves to know who you are as a whole, not just a part of you. Share more of who you are today!
© Dimitri Lyon and dimitrilyon.wordpress.com, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Dimitri Lyon and dimitrilyon.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.